The end of innocence

It was a bright, beautiful September morning. I was on a train from London to Edinburgh. The scenery outside was breathtaking - the idyllic country side with covered with green fields, the tiny brick houses perched on cliffs overlooking the sea, the bright blue sky with white clouds sprinkled here and there. It was a perfect day.

After staring out the window for a while, I turned my attention to my neighbor. She was an English woman in her thirties. Her young daughter was sitting in the seat across our table. She was a pretty thing - the child, barely more than ten. She had bright blue eyes, flawless skin and straight blonde hair which kept falling on her face. Though her head was buried in a book, the girl kept peering at her mother every now and then. Her attempts at making small talk with her mother were constantly being ignored by the latter, who was fiercely working on her laptop.

Call it curiosity or human nature, I soon found myself peeking into the woman’s laptop. I guess I needed to know what was keeping a mother from giving her daughter a little attention. A few minutes and some stolen glances later, I knew. And it left me very disturbed.

The mother’s story goes something like this: She had broken up with her daughter’s birth father about a year ago. She later got involved with another man and moved in with him. Unfortunately, that relationship turned violent and ended. Meanwhile, her ex-husband passed away a couple of months ago. Now, the woman is not only single, but also broke. She is in such financial distress that she is forced to live with her mother in Edinburgh and cannot even afford to send her daughter to school.

What she was doing now on her laptop was looking for a place in London so that she can move there with her daughter and send her to school. She was also mailing schools requesting them to accept her daughter, who, according to her, was a brilliant student.

I sank back in my chair and closed my eyes. I realized that I had probably broken a couple of hundred laws by invading the woman’s privacy. But that wasn’t disturbing as much as the thought of what the innocent child had to go through at such an age - her parents separating, her mother’s violent relationship with another man and to top it all, her father’s demise.

I looked at the girl. Her bright blue eyes were focused on her book, intently absorbing every word in it. I had to ask myself this – when should parents put their children ahead of themselves? Apparently, if her mother had been more thoughtful about her daughter’s future, she would have made better choices in her life. It is true that being a single mother isn’t easy and there is nothing wrong in the woman’s desire to find someone to support her emotionally and financially. But isn’t it also true that we are responsible for shaping the future of our children, who are in this world because of us?

Right or not, her choices have been made for the child by her mother and she has to live with their consequences. I looked into her innocent blue eyes and wondered what would become of her in the future. I am sure I will never meet the girl again, but I can guarantee that she will linger in my thoughts for a long time.